As a kid, St. Elmo bartender Darcy L. Curtis loved the TV game show “Bowling for Dollars.” In fact, her father was a contestant and young Darcy got to be in the audience. “It was so exciting, I got to be on TV for the very first time,” she recalled.
Fast-forward many years later, and the game was still on Darcy’s mind, albeit with a slightly different, ahem, twist. “I got the idea to have Bowling for Dildos at St. Elmo. I kept pitching it to my boss but she kept rejecting me saying ‘No, no, no, that will never work.’”
At the time (circa 2015), the popular Thursday event was Silly Hat Night. Darcy would bring in a bunch of hats and hang them all over the bar. “We’d have a contest as to who was wearing the stupidest hat,” she said.
Silly Hat Night went on for two-and-a-half years before Darcy was finally able to convince Sue Sargent, her boss at St. Elmo, to let her try out her idea. Needless to say, it was immediately a huge hit. “Now she won’t let me quit!” Darcy laughed.
Darcy L. Curtis, bartender and creator of Bowling for Dildos
The Game
If you think about it, St. Elmo is actually the perfect spot for a bowling game; the narrow room is just long enough for a dramatic rolling of the bowling ball that everyone can easily view. The pins are set up in front of the pool table, which is closed during the event.
In order to play Bowling for Dildos, you must, of course, have a drink. When you purchase a beverage, you are handed a raffle ticket. If your number is called, you get to bowl! There are usually two different lines you can bowl from, one slightly closer than the other. These lines are drawn in chalk on the bar floor and given names like “Spit/Swallow”, “Top/Bottom”, or “Naughty/Nice.”
The actual bowling is similar to the traditional game: whomever gets a strike or a spare gets to advance to the “Dildo-Off,” the climactic (pun intended) finale of the evening. When a bowler knocks all the pins down, the bar’s bell is rung to triumphant cheers.
The Host
When Darcy first started Bowling for Dildos, she had to do the whole thing herself. Now, there is a host and a “Pin Bitch” to help keep things running smoothly. The current host is Heather Giacaletti, who has been doing it for the past three years. “I just love being obnoxiously vulgar,” she says.
There is certainly no shortage of vulgarity on a Bowling for Dildos night. Each finalist in the Dildo-Off is given a special name. “This week’s contestant’s names are Jared, Claire, and Spencer. So I’ll probably call him ‘Jerking-Off Jared’ and ‘Cum On My Face Claire,’ and ‘Spencer Bending Over,’” she said with a laugh.
Also, each bowler is asked what kind of porn they watch. “Everyone’s different, and some people come up with weird and twisted fetishes, like midgets in furry costumes.”
The Prizes
At the end of the night, one big winner gets, as the name implies, a dildo. “However, if they don’t want a dildo, they can trade it in for a Mystery Bag!” Darcy explains. “The Mystery Bag can contain gag gifts like butt plugs or pocket pussies, or maybe a St. Elmo t-shirt. Just random stuff.”
Sometimes Darcy will give away prizes she wins from the Claw vending machine located near the door, which is, not surprisingly, filled with adult toys. “I like to give away something for the first strike of the night,” she says.
Bowling for Dildos is a year-round event – every Thursday, every week, no exceptions. This includes Christmas, Thanksgivi ng, and New Year’s. “We’ve been doing it for eight years and still going strong,” Darcy says triumphantly.
Want to give it a try? St. Elmo is located at 36 Brewery Ave in the heart of Historic Brewery Gulch.